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Getting exeedingly nervous!!

Getting exeedingly nervous!!

Its 2 years since my 2nd vagina was  skilfully  constructed and fitted so its time to look back and report  after-thoughts.

But first,,,,,,,,, Did I mention Inow have  new breasts? No I didnt  so well look here!

January 2011

Butterflies or what?

Butterflies or what?

February 2013

One really happy NHS customer!!!!

One really happy NHS customer!!!!

They felt so tight, argh arghhhhhhhh!!
They felt so tight, argh arghhhhhhhh!!

This is straight after surgery.

Up yer nose, like a garden hose!

Ok, so I assume you have read part one of recovery after surgery and I wrote”Little did I know what was to come!”.  Well allow me to fill you in.                                                                                                                                          As the operation is so invasive  you are not allowed to eat anything until after you have been to the loo for a poo. This usually takes 5-7 days!  The night before  I was going home a nurse had come in to take out my staples  just as I was about to eat. Between us we managed to wiggle them out and then I ate my Curry and Rice. I noticed then that this meal was not settling and I couldn’t sleep properly because of this. When I woke up,  I was feeling quite low as my stomach was  swollen and I was starting to feel uncomfortable knowing that I was  going to have to wrestle with my dilators too. Mr Bellringer and Iffy came and gave me permission to leave. Hooray!! Home for the weekend!!!!!

By Sunday night my condition was worsening. I had pains in or near my bladder, I was vomiting and I felt so ill that I phoned for an emergency doctor. The doctor was a very strange man, he shuffled around my room like Paddington Bear and he was so gentle, shy and sweet. He could easily have been a character from a film! He asked me of my condition and I told him that I was a Transsexual woman and had just had colonavaginaplasty. He told me that he had never met a Transsexual patient before and he found it hard to believe that I had been born with male parts! He gave me anti-sickness pills, antibiotics for my bladder infection and he changed my painkillers from Dyclofenac sodium to Tramadol.                                                                                                              By Wednesday the pains in my bladder had gone but I was still  ill. By the weekend my stomach was spasseming with pain and eating was getting real hard, so on the Monday I visited  a locum GP at my doctors surgery . She gave me anti-spasm pills and Gaviscon to settle my stomach. This treatment wasn’t helping so on the Wednesday I went back to my doctors surgery and this time I got my Gp, Imogen. She took one look, she felt my tummy and she new straight away that  I was really ill. She phoned for an ambulance.                                                                                            Can you believe this! The ambulance people would not take me right across town to my special hospital where I had had my operation. Neither would they admit me into the UCH in Kings Cross as they don’t have the specialist teams needed for this kind of operation. Luckily I have a friend who has a truck and I got him to drive me across town to Charring Cross Hospital at Hammersmith.  I was taken in through A&E  and assessed straight away.   First they had to get blood samples and a line-in to give me fluids as I was really dehydrated. I told them that they would have huge problems finding a vein to use as I was  an introvienous heroin user for 15 yrs and that most of my visible veins were collapsed. Luckily the senior doctor on charge knew not to faff about and she went straight in for my huge neck vein. No messing about!  From A&E I was wheelied across back to The Marjory Warren ward where I had been 2 weeks before for my GRS (Genital Reconstructive Surgery).                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Thursday morning and I was still really ill. They had to put a tube right down into my stomach to release the pressure. It felt horrible going up my nose and then down my throat. When it got to my stomach I couldn’t help it; I threw up all over the place, violently. It was awful. They hadn’t got a basin ready so I covered myself, the nurses and all the bed linen with vile green bile! Another scene from a horror movie! Once they had got the pressure off my stomach they injected 100mls of blue coloured dye into my stomach through the tube. 4 hours later I was wheeled up to the Xray dept.    Later that evening a surgeon comes and tells me that he wants to open me up and have a look at what is causing this blockage in my gut. He explains to me possible outcomes of this surgery. He could simply simply clear the blockage; or I could loose the blood supply to my knew neo-vagina; or have to fit me with a Stoners bag if my Colon is compromised! He has made all these decisions without consulting my Gender surgeon Mr Bellringer. I am not happy. I even had to sign a consent form. I could imagine the surgeon sharpening his knives!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I spent all weekend on the drip feed and not allowed to eat or drink anything. I was feeling better but my stomach was still cramping. Luckily the main operating theatres were too busy to fit me in and by Monday my proper surgeon Mr Bellringer had arrived. He asked me how I was and I told him that I had just had a little diareah. He was amazed and he told me that maybe my blockage was clearing. He got on his mobile straight away and cancelled the op. I was sent back to Xray and sure enough the dye had reached my colon. HOORAY; Saved by diareah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                       Over the next 2 days I started drinking fluids. I had been staring at a bottle of cold pressed apple juice all weekend. I imagined it would taste of paradise. Surely enough after not eating or drinking for so long my imagination wasn’t let down. That apple juice was the best relief I have ever tasted after being so ill and close to death for so long. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     I got a lift home 5 kilos lighter and still quite weak but relieved to be in one piece. My dilating regime had been compromised and I was not getting my dilators in properly. Over the next 6 days my stomach started cramping  again with pain. At first I thought I could control it by just drinking water but it just got worse. I saw my GP , she sent me sraight back to the hospital.  This time I didnt need the tube up my nose but the rest the same. Drip in the neck; Nil by mouth discharge after the weekend. This isnt the end of it. A day after discharge my stomach was cramping again. This time I admitted myself through A&E. I was out in 3 days.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     So all in all, from the beginning of my 2nd   vagina operation to release, 5 weeks. A stone and a half lighter and my dilating regime, f**cked. Who said SRS is a walk in the park.

Whats that in yer jugular viein?

{next episode coming soon: Boob Job: Ouch}

Recovery after Surgery

 Its 3 months since my last transsexual operation(colonavaginaplasty), and I am just now starting to feel back on top form. There have been times where I thought I had better not write about what happened to me after the operation as people could use the information to belittle my surgeon!  I don’t like sensationalism and I wont promote it. It’s just a known fact that complex surgery can and often does have weird side effects. If you don’t believe this, don’t have surgery!                                                                   Let me set the sceen.I was in a single cell, I mean room, for a whole week and I had hardly any contact with other transsexual patients. I had plenty of visitors and I had my computer and a Tv to help pass the time.                                                                                  This operation isn’t to be taken lightly. It is seriously invasive.                                      The surgeon has to go inside you to get the parts to make the neo~vagina. He took out the useless appendix while in there and removed parts of my small intestine. He used the small intestine to reconstruct me a usable vagina. How so very clever!

You are supposed to wait a week and then the surgeon and his nurse will come and remove the packaging from inside. However, the night before they came I decided to take a shower. Stupid me!             I got out of bed to switch channels on the Tv  when I felt a little uncomfortable down below. I pulled down my knickers to have a look. What happened next was like a clip from a horror movie………..The packaging slipped out followed by loads of blood and fluids and splattered all around the floor and all over my legs and feet!  I pressed the panick button. It looked like I had had a baby!  luckily the night nurse was well up with the procedure and he got the room cleared up and bought me a couple of dilators to get on with my first dilation.                              Panic over I inserted my new dilators with ease and I felt real pleased with myself and my surgeon for what seemed like a text-book success!              Little did I know what was to come!



9' multicolored statue at Riverside

Controversial statue for a contraversial special place.

Well, I had an operation booked for last wednesday. A colonavaginaplasty to be so very proper correct! Two hours before leaving home with my cases packed I gets a voice mail call. A message for Angella~Dee, “please do not turn up for your 4pm appointment at Charring Cross Hospital, your appointment has been cancelled”. Bloody Hell,  ‘Dont they know who I think I am’? I had this operation appointment given to me 5 months ago, everything in my whole life pointed at this day. Time zone ZERO.2!          Nothing exsisted beyond this date, I would be in another  unknown time zone with new unlimited dreams, ambitions and goals. As you can see, I put rather a lot of importance on this op. My first neo~vagina rejected me a year ago with ostallosis? So Mr Bellringer (yes thats his real name) my plastic surgeon offered me a colonovaginaplasty, an upgrade, a rebore, a self lubricating delux model!       Another appointment wasnt offered last week so I was sweating bad. I mean 6 weeks without HRT I found it hard to control my  body temperature and Wow could I be sharp with people. Dont mess with Angella~Dee when she isnt on those damned whoremones, she is so proper trouble!                                                                                                   I never saw myself as a control freak but having no appointment and an empty diary left me in somewhat of a dilemma.  What am I supposed to do in No~Mans land, or should I say’No~Womans land!                          Well, on Teusday I went to visit my friend who had just had the same operation that I was to have, lucky girl, at Charring Cross.

Were these peeps a couple o drunks?

 I was strolling through the graveyard at the back and I was wrighting  a congratulation card for her when I got another phone message. “Please cal this no, NOW”. Butterflies or what? “We have an appointment for you in 3 weeks, is that OK?”    You bet it was so Ok, I felt like a weight had just been proper lifted off my shoulders. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Whoopee, I was so very sky high, I was floating in hyperspace. I walked into Charring Cross to see Jael with the biggest smile on my face I have ever had, Phew, sweat, Arghhhhhhhh!     

Jael was real dozzy, but I soon bought her round with some good chit chat. Cant wait to see her again soon. We love you Jael, get better soon x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x                

     It’s 2am, 19th Aug 2010, and I actually cant believe that I am  here in my very own ‘Joan collins’ suite here at Charing Cross Hospital sex change factory. I made it, without getting that dreaded call. “message for Angella~Dee”  Argh, no, dont evan go there! 

Sex Change Factory

Sex Change Factory

      I got here at around 5ish with Pete. We were a little late so Mr Bellringer, who had just called in to say hello, had just left. We sat in the day room while I waited for a bed. Luckilly the wards were full and a private room was being vacated. So we waited. A space did become available on a ward but I said I would wait as I am noisy and I need space to spread out.                         So here I am, anti~embolism socks on, jabbed up with blood thinners, TV on, phone plugged into laptop, nighty on and sunglasses not!

Good friends

Ready to go?


We are the law!

We are the law!

4 years and I enjoy it more each time. The first times I was so overwhelmed I just photoed everything possible. Now I get a press pass, I have become so much more bold, with access to ‘special’ VIP places. This year I knew all the best places to go and at what times to be there.
                                             So I met Jael at Baker Street station and the story begins.

Click Here to see the album of the PRE~pRIDE WAITING GAME.

The first album I published was actually of all the people I have got to know over the last 5 years since I started mixing with the “Trans~Communities”.

I still cannot believe I just got that phonecall!

Last night I was dreaming that I had had a phonecall from my GP. I couldnt quite hear what she was saying. I assumed it must be that my blood tests had come back from Charing Cross Hospital and that my next op, colonovaginaplasty, was going to be cancelled. So this evening when I answered the phone and it was my Gp, I assumed the worst. Instead it was the best news I have heard in ages. Primary Care have agreed to fund my Breast~augmentation!                                                               WOW, the smile on my face is hurting, I still cant believe it. PCT had been stalling on this request for months and months. Questions were being asked that only the Gender Identity Clinic could answer and they were not answering any of our requests. I thought the PCT were going to drop the case as G.I.C were not coming up trumps. OOOooooooooooo Wow.

I have been wandering around aimlessly   feeling like I dont know what to do with myself. I slept well for 8-9 hours and started the day in my usual way by reading emails and catching up on on my friends news on facebook. I noticed that there was nothing in the events calendar for this weekend to do so I went surfing around trying to find something to do this weekend. NOTHING. Everyone is at Glastonbury festival, evan BBC 6music is broadcasting all week from there! So I had my bath and cooked my breakfast in my oven. I decided that I was going to go to the  TGLB  NA meeting Covent Garden and then try and get a client  to read their cards. So I decided to use one of my photoes and add  the  word   “Tarot” over the top. It took me all afternoon. More RSI’s, a grumpy face, and the outcome was  rubish.  I realised I had wasted hours on doing something that I could have done in minutes with a piece of card and some chalks. Usually I make my sign on my pitch and it helps draw interest to what I am about to do which is read cards. I felt rather stupid as now I had to rush to get ready and I was running late.                                                                                                                                     I eneded up going to my local AA group instead. While I was there my mood started to wane and I lost all interest in trying to find a pitch. I wanted to go for coffeee after the meeting but nobody else was up for it. I phoned Pete, he was up for a coffee. We decided to go to ‘The Foundry’ instead but I soon lost interest in that idea too as it is now closed and is only a squat now.                                              Sat  in  his kitchen it suddenly hit me. I am not taking my EASTROGEN anymore as I have a major operation coming up. I have to stop 6 weeks before the op as the horemones can cause blood clots. This is why I feel so aimless, pathetic,listless and empty. Suddenly I was smilling as everything now is fitting into place. Two days ago I was so wanting something to happen I was surfing for Easyjet and enquiring for price of hire cars. I thought I could get a short holliday in before my op on 21st July. I thought I was going mad!!                  Reality check; I have just finished Uni, Harley my beautifull dog has just died, I have major surgery coming up(clonovaginaplasty) and its my summer holidays.

I must chill out,relax and stay calm. My dinner is in the oven, I have some TV to catch up on with demand and all is actually fine; Stop panicking Angella~Dee and take a deep deep deep breath! x x x x x Namyohorengekyoxxxxxxxxxx

                             Well after the nervous energy of the run up to the Photo exhibition at the University  and the actual exhibition itself it was good to go and do something completely different.                                                                                                                           I had   promised to read Tarot cards to the 2 ladies who serve us lunch at our over 50’s lunch/excersise club (im 49). I was still feeling overwhelmed by the last few days that had just gone before, but as I had made arrangements I thought I had better  go. 

It was a loverly warm day for once so I dressed in shorts and sandles and got there just in time for the excersises.  At first it always  feels strange going through the excersises with people aged 80~98 but after a few rounds I really do start to feel the benifit and I realise how much my last two major operations took from me!

After a loverly lunch of fish and mushy peas, Lisa invites me into a back room and asks me to make it my own. Out the ront the others are starting to gossip and want to know whats going on.

I read Lisas’ then Loissas’  and I was amazed at the completely different kind of lives these two similar ladies  have.  I cant tell you too much as Tarot readings are personal, private and confidential, but I can tell you after spending 1/2 an hour with each one I felt I had helped both of them see and help them to realise some of their dreams. It helped me too as I, like everyone else, tend to stereotype people without even trying too.                                                                                                                      


    Two completely different spreads!

I went home feeling I had really helped Lisa and Loissa in their life choices and this, in return, helped me to feel thatI have a greater purpose in life, that is to  help others lead a more healthy, spiritual and  empowered life.


The exibiton was so good. There must have been over a 1000 people there. My 3 poster photoes literally were glowing in the lights. Many many friends came by and flicked through my portfolios and looked wide eyed at the posters. Now that loads of peeps have my buisness card I ought to add a load more photoes and themes onto this Blog for you all to watch. It will have to be on the moro as Im exhausted from  the nervous energy I exuded all day. OK? laters x x x xx

Wed 23rd June 2010

I got my results for my diploma in “Profesional Practice, Photograpphy”.  ‘MERIT’ Yee haa
Here is a fun load of fotos from the Greatest Expo I have ever seen!

Portfolio Pictures


OK here are my 3 posters that hopefully will be exhibited this week.

Queens Parade?


OK Heres a link to my Portfolio as published in Facebook.